Ch Ch Ch Changes

Between then, July 2012, the last time I found time to express a thought by blog, and now, June 2013, where I fully accept that calling it a blog may be an inaccuracy… there is much to recognize!

My father always says the only thing that’s certain is change. In the past year, Changes have certainly come!

*Side bars – I began writing this in June… Now, in August… there are changes to note to the changes I was noting… ah, life!

I am a Mrs…

Nearly 13 years of knowing and nearly 3 years of dating and countless near misses within the relationship – we agreed to be bound till death. 3 months in, we are learning and loving life together.

*ouch, 4th month brought a battle. Faith and love brought victory. We continue to love with gratitude!  I am… married!

I am a Grandmother…

One had a son, the other a daughter, the step also had a son and the mothers of the two that are blood kin to me, each already had one. If you count ’em all up in a way that keeps anyone from being left out, I believe 5 children (maybe 6*) will soon be referring to me as Gramma. I am, as big Philly seems to be indicating  I am… Maa Ma!

Am I a mother-in-law…                                                                                                                 

He’s so young and it happened so fast, without the blessing of the Lord or any final reconciliation of the past. I am in a place of denial. She has children and grandchildren – so maybe 6 will call me Gramma, or maybe even 9, but theoretically, to 1, I would actually be a great-gramma.

*THEY ARE NOT MARRIED!!! It was a bad joke, a very bad joke! This child remains as deep in my prayers as he is in my heart!        … I was in denial, now I am in surrendering!

A Senior, A Prisoner, A Traveler…

The 3rd of my 4 boys said to me in Kindergarten, “I’ll never be able to do this” referring to his ABC’s homework. That child is now a Senior in high school. With the same girlfriend for 2 years and the same afterschool job for nearly as long , he has grown into a very capable young man who is definitely “able” to do anything he puts his mind to   I am… proud!

Not because he really did society wrong, but because he seems to not care much about himself. In his efforts to hide from the demons inside, he turned to drugs and alcohol. In his state of insobriety, he neglected compliancy. He said F the police I want to live my own life and they said until further notice your life is a line item on our budget. My eldest son is facing an inner battle at a crossroads.  I am… hopeful!

My baby wants to be a part of it… New York, New York… following a sophomore class trip this spring, my youngest is over his native state and wants to venture out into the big bad world, more specifically, the Big Apple. Even with “brains on his head and shoes on his feet”, I can’t imagine him walking down such a faraway street. With 2 years of high school left, I am so thankful to still be able to hug and kiss with arms and lips instead of penning xxx’s and ooo’s – even for just a moment longer.  I am…clinging!

I am underpaid…

Same place, different duties. Same colleagues, different supervisor. Same hours, different workload. Frustrated by the pay scale, continually thankful.  I am… employed!

 

I am living…

I have nearly grown brave enough to part with the house that we all called home for so long. I have seen both greener and not so green grass on many sides of many fences. The winds seem to want to carry me on in a new direction – I am considering the pursuit of Home Sweeter Home.

I fall more in love with my city every season. Leaving the house is no longer as daunting now that I realize my city is my home. Often too much to see and do, I consider myself a tourist, traveling, sight-seeing, experiencing new arts and cultures daily. I’m sure I’ve only just begun to know the enjoyment that is my own metropolis.

My circles of friends continue to spin round me in comfort and harmony; a small circle of very close, very tight, protective and embracing, a larger circle of very sweet, very easy, positive and encouraging, and a family circle, that even in misgiving is never ending and a constant blessing!

Jesus, my Lord, my best friend and confidant, my source of clarity, provision, wisdom, understanding, acceptance and growth; the Rock that I lean on, The shelter that I hide under, The good shepherd who is ever faithful to guide and protect me. Amidst all of the change in life, the one constant, is my Savior.

I am… GRATEFUL!

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