Dear Phillip,

I want to hold you in front of me, wiggle you… watch you smile wide as I speak in motherese, how precious you are, how much I love you!

I want to beg you to smile for me, to laugh out loud, to drop me with your sheer adorableness!

I want to touch your tiny fingers and toes… your itty bitty little ears and your impossibly darling little nose. I want to teach you a song about piggy’s going to market and share the song my father gave to me about how you are my sunshine.

My precious grandson, 5 days ago your  mother told me she was taking you to another state to live and that once you got there, you wouldn’t be coming back. 

If I had a jet plane, I would have flown to your side and held you and kissed you, looked you in your eyes and told you just how much I love you – I would have cried as I told you how I would miss you!

I haven’t seen you since July. You were 6 months old then. You were talking to youself, squealing, smiling a gigantic smile, sitting up almost on your own and entertaining  yourself with toys. I may have smothered you with kisses that day. I’m not sorry.

Today is September 20, 2012 – You’re 3 days away from 8 months old. I hear you’re crawling all over and pulling yourself up. There’s no way you’ll ever know how my heart aches to see you. To applaud your accomplishments… I don’t know where you are.

Your parents tried, but they’re young and life is tough. In August, they split up. You are with your mother and she won’t have it any other way. Right now your father is with me and he’s missing your very much! I am hoping upon hope, praying from my soul and trusting our Heavenly father above to protect you and bring you back to me; to us… We are your family and we love you so, so, so much!

 

I write this in case a day comes when you ask me, “Gramma Jo, who are you?”, or “for all these days, weeks, months, years… where were you?”.

My precious child, son of my precious son. I am with you in prayer, I love you deep in my heart and I am believing we will Praise God that only this one of such letters had to be written.

~ til then sweet Phillip,

I’m Sending My Love!

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