I did! we are! I do.

I think I knew in my soul, when I met him 10 years ago, that he was meant for me. The day he called out my name is a day I’ll never forget. As previously mentioned, many times…

July 2010 – I gave up on internet dating and prayed – Dear God, won’t you just send someone to me – someone who will know me, call me by name?  …. I laughed at my own prayer realizing there would be no way Mr. Right could know my name….

July 19, 2010 – Walking briskly through downtown on my way to fill the parking meter I heard him call out my name – I was afraid to look up because I felt sure that in that very moment,  God was answering my prayer. I looked – made eye contact – with a man I had known for many years – a man I had wondered about…

The man I believe God brought to me.

Like every dating relationship, in the beginning it was magical! Oh the hand holding, the indirect flirting, the butterflies, the first kiss on the bench when in our eagerness, our teeth accidentally met before our lips did. I remember standing in the sunset looking at this man, my man, standing over the grill smiling at me… I was in love!

Then, like every dating relationship, the magic turned to misunderstandings; disagreements, irritations, arguments, and eventually, a renunciation. We split, we cried.

 

Thing about destiny is – even if hands let go, hearts don’t.   

In the face of many attempts and many failures – I continued to ask him to forgive me and try again and he did. He continued to ask me to forgive him and try again and…. I did!

Like every other dating relationship, over the course of time, there have been many “magical” moments and there have been many misunderstandings. At any time during any of those moments if you were to ask us, or anyone who knows us if we were still in love, the answer without fail was always… We are!

January 31, 2013 – I turned 40 years old. Certain I had finally come out of the desert, I made a bold suggestion. “You know what I wished?” I asked him, “I wish you would have asked me to marry you for my birthday so we could get married on Valentines Day.” He looked at me stunned. This is not as forward as it may seem. 10 months earlier he asked my father for my hand. A year earlier he told me he couldn’t wait to marry me. 12 years earlier when we first laid eyes on each other, when asked by his colleagues who I was, he responded “That’s my lady.” I like to say he called dibs on me from the start – took me stepping out of my own desert of fear to finally hand over my entire heart.

Maybe unlike every other dating relationship, we ended and rekindled “us” many, many, many times. The ending part was always in fear, afraid of getting to the core of things, afraid of admitting the truth about ourselves, afraid of losing control, afraid of commitment, afraid of how strong, deep and wide our feelings for each other truly were. The rekindling was always inevitable. With our heart strings tied in boy scout knots, despite all fears, we couldn’t let go.

On the first day of Spring, 2013 – we stood before our pastor.

He asked my beloved if he promised a life long commitment of love, honor and respect according to God’s will, God’s word and God’s divine plan? He said, “I do”. The pastor then turned to me, my eyes locked on my beloved, and he asked me if I promised a lifelong commitment of love, honor and respect according to God’s will, God’s word and God’s divine plan. 13 years prior and a lifetime forward raced through my mind, and in an instant,  my single heart stopped beating. This was bigger than hating being single, bigger than finally having a sympathetic ear; a warm embrace; inside jokes; reliable dinner company;  or someone to greet the dawn with and bid the sunset farewell with… this was realizing that in this great big world, two people meet according to God’s great purpose and like it or not, their souls are unquestionably and unseverably connected. I took a deep breath, inhaled the truth and gratefully said… I do.

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